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Little Funny #1:

A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours.

Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says; "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."

A voice from the back of the room says, "There's a calendar behind you."

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Little Funny #2:

The small town's sheriff was also its veterinarian. One night the phone rang and his wife answered.

An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"

"Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?"

"Both. We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."

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